Confessions of a Clinical-ish Counselor
As cliche as it may sound, I’m really glad that you’re here reading this. I don’t think you stumbled upon my platform by chance. Instead, I believe it is divine intervention that has brought you here. You and I were destined to cross paths because we have something in common. Maybe you have a mental health disorder that you are learning to live with or perhaps you have a medical disorder that is currently testing your will to survive the toughest of days. No matter what brought you here, I want you to know that I’m glad that you are here. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor by trade, meaning that I have a state-recognized license and extensive training and experience in providing mental health services to children and adults. Counseling is my passion, and I strive to be the best mental health professional that I can be every day. I take pride in my role as a Counselor and I find it to be one of the most important hats that I wear. Growing up I had know idea what a Counselor or a Therapist was so I’d be lying if I said that I’ve been dreaming of being a Counselor since I was a child but I always knew that I was meant to help people. What I didn’t know when choosing this career was that becoming a Counselor would change the trajectory of my circumstances and ultimately save my life.
As much as I’d like to give you a play by play of my life up until this point, I know you’d get lost in the sauce if I were to provide too many details at once. Instead, I’ll give you a very brief overview. First, I want to take you back to the year 2018. I was a recent graduate from an outstanding Master’s of Science program in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. I had recently passed my licensure exam and became what is known as an Associate Professional Counselor, meaning that I was a licensed newbie in the mental health counseling field. In April of that year, I was working my first two paid jobs as a counselor and I was on top of the world. And then there was MAY… The month of May, that is. The same month I participated in the graduation ceremony for my degree that was conferred in December 2017. The same month that my very best friend suddenly passed away a week after my graduation ceremony. The month that I experienced my first full-blown manic episode and my physical health began to deteriorate. May of 2018 is the month that my life changed forever. By July of 2018, I was diagnosed with bipolar I disorder and generalized anxiety disorder. Over the next 6 years, a diagnosis of ADHD, PTSD, Obstructive Sleep Apnea, Type II Diabetes, and Fibromyalgia, among other things, entered the chat. As one can imagine, I fought for my life throughout these years. There were so many days that I wanted to give up, and on those dark days, I nearly did give up. Honestly, at one point, I DID give up. All hope was lost and I could not see beyond my mental and physical anguish. Looking back on things, I realize that in my “giving up,” I learned what it meant to have the will to survive. In developing the will to survive, along with the countless prayers, therapy sessions, psychiatry visits, medication changes, etc., I learned to find meaning in life by changing my perspective on my situation and challenging the core beliefs that trained me to believe that I was unworthy, unloveable, incapable, and deserving of misery.
I come before you as an evolved version of my former self. In all honesty, my challenges still exist. There are still days where I feel like I must have been a horrible person in a previous life and I’m forced to pay my debts in this life. While these feelings still exist, I am proud to say that I don’t get stuck in them anymore. I acknowledge them, sit with them for a moment, and maybe even do an ugly cry as I still grieve the loss of the person that I used to be before 2018. In the beginning of my career, I used to be so embarrassed at the thought of being a mental health professional who was taking some of the same medications that were being prescribed to my clients. I used to think “who would want me as their Counselor if they knew who was really behind this fraudulent version of myself that I present at work?” With all of the stigma and shame that exists in the Black community when it comes to mental health, I was certain that someone would learn my dirty little secret, use it against me, and ruin my career. But then it dawned on me… what would happen if I didn’t hide in the shadows anymore? Surely there are medical providers with high blood pressure or dentists who are missing teeth, right? So what if I’m not perfect? Once I knocked down the wall of shame, I realized that embracing who I am authentically not only made me a better Counselor, but a better person overall. So yes, I am a mental health professional and yes, I have mental health disorders. I see a therapist and a psychiatrist. I have been in a psychiatric hospital and I take medications everyday. I am not perfect nor will I pretend to be. I’m always finding ways to grow and further evolve but for the most part, I am who I am, and I’m proud of that. Now that we’ve gotten that out in the open, I want to let you know what you can and cannot expect from me.
The name of my blog, “Confessions of a Clinical-ish Counselor,” also known as “CCC” was born out of the reality that I am a clinical professional but I am also an individual who lives with mental health disorders. I can authentically say that I know what it means to be a person who is struggling to live with a mental health disorder. I know what it means to feel defeated, hopeless, and helpless. I know what it’s like to feel isolated, misunderstood, unseen and unheard. I am basically saying that I can relate to so many of you out there. At the end of the day, my goal is to relate, educate, and inspire every individual that I cross paths with. On this platform, you can expect me to be authentic in every blog that I write and every video or piece of content that I post. You can expect me to be consistent because people like us need consistency. You can expect me to provide both personal examples and professional knowledge in my content. I’ll be sure to let you know when I am pulling from my lived experience, my education, or my professional experience. You can count on me to be interactive. I will reply to your questions to the best of my abilities and if I don’t know the answer to something, I will let you know. Still, I have no problem pulling out my resources and helping to steer you in the right direction. I will do my best to educate you, support you, encourage you, and leave you feeling like “wow, someone does understand what I go through.”
What you cannot expect me to do is be a substitute for you seeking professional treatment. I am not here to assess you, diagnose you, develop your treatment plan, or do any of those things that a clinical mental health professional would do. Yes, I am a Counselor, Therapist, Psychotherapist, etc. but I am NOT your Counselor, Therapist, Psychotherapist, etc. None of the content that I post is meant to be used as a substitute for professional treatment. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, please seek professional help. I have a page dedicated to providing mental health resources that are listed on my website that you can access by clicking here. Also, please do not expect me to allow abusive, derogatory, or any other comments that are deemed inappropriate to the safe space I am working diligently to cultivate. Your inappropriate comments will be deleted. Inappropriate emails and messages will be ignored. We all have our own challenges, life stressors, worries, etc., and this platform was designed to be a safe space. Unnecessary negativity, purposeful triggering of others, and anything deemed inappropriate will not be tolerated.
Thank you for taking the time to read this post and allowing me to share my journey with you. If any part of my story resonated with you, I encourage you to reach out, comment, or connect on social media. You are not alone in your struggles, and together, we can create a community of support, understanding, and growth.
If you're ready to take the next step in your own journey, whether that means seeking professional help or simply opening up to someone you trust, know that it’s okay to ask for help. Embrace your authenticity and remember, you don’t have to navigate this alone.
I would love for you to stay connected. Follow me on Instagram and YouTube @Clinical_ish, and be sure to sign up for my monthly newsletter so you never miss a post. Let’s continue this journey together—one step, one story at a time.
Take care, and I’m looking forward to hearing from you. ✨